Female Sexuality Facts
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The Erotic Power of Touch
Eroticism has been celebrated throughout history by many cultures. Paintings, poems, sexual practices and spiritual teachings have depicted eroticism as a creative act through which men and women can achieve sexual ecstasy and union.
The ancient temples of Khajuraho in India still draw thousands of people to admire their amazingly erotic wall sculptures. Likewise, the Kama Sutra text on sex positions has survived through the ages as a scripture on the joys of love-making.
From the perfumed gardens and poetry of Persia to the teachings of Taoist Masters in China, the secrets of sexual pleasuring have been regarded by the ancients as a transcendental and mystical tradition.
Two thousand years ago in China, scholars taught the secrets of sexual happiness which they regarded as essential to achieving a healthy and balanced mind and body - yet earlier in this century, when the psychologist Wilhelm Reich spoke of the link between sexual repression and neurosis he was condemned.
Now, in the light of a more open attitude to sexuality, many people are seeking to rediscover the means to create deep emotional and physical satisfaction within a sexual relationship.
Part of that process of exploration lies in unraveling the mysteries of the human body and discovering its sexual geography. The geography of the Touch and massage, therefore, are the perfect tools for sexual foreplay. It is through the stimulation and stroking of the skin that sexual bonding, via sensitive nerve receptors throughout the body are set alight.
Sigmund Freud described the human body as being wholly erotogenic, and it is, indeed, through the skin that the tactile messages of love are sent. By touching, caressing and fondling the skin, the flame of sexual desire is kindled, while at the same time the emotions and the soul are nourished.
PREPARING FOR AN EROTIC EXPERIENCE
First, make yourself attractive. Eroticism can be manifested in many aspects of our lives, the way we move and dress, the colors we favor, and how we decorate our homes can all enhance our experience of sensuality and eroticism - so pay attention to all the details as you prepare yourselves for a night of erotic massage.
Arousing your lover can begin at the dining table. Food and sex are fundamental to survival and the relationship between the two has been well documented. Use the most elegant cutlery and china that you possess.
Add a lighted candle, and a vase of orchids, roses or cut flowers. Choose food that is delicious but leaves you feeling light and energized. Pay special attention to selecting complementary combinations of color, picking foods of rich rather than insipid hues.
Certain foods - such as oysters, ruffles, and chocolate - are said to have romantic or aphrodisiac qualities, while some spices have established sexual connotations. In India, garlic and onion are forbidden in some strict monastic communities because they are said to increase the libido!
Many fruits have been traditionally associated with sexuality, in some cases because their shape, color and texture are suggestive of the male or male genital organs. In Greek myths, certain fruits were representative of the seed of life, symbolizing virility and fertility.
Fruits such as pomegranates, figs and grapes were used in sacred temple rituals to signify the power of creation and generation, borne out in the sexual union of man and woman.
Prepare a cocktail of exotic fruits for your lover, choosing them for their sensual appeal - the mango, for instance, with its deep red color, flowing juices and sensual fleshy texture, irresistibly evokes erotic images. Peel and cut the fruits into small pieces.
Wait until his appetite is keen so his sense of smell and taste have increased. Ask him to close his eyes he cannot see what you are popping into his mouth, and to focus his attention purely on the fragrance and taste of the fruits.
Let him smell it first before feeding him the delicious
morsels piece by piece. He should take time to absorb their individual tastes,
letting their sweetness melt in his mouth. He can lick their flavors from your
fingers as you can kiss away the juices from his lips.
Smell plays an important part in the enhancement of eroticism. Humans, like animals, are said to give powerful sexual scents called pheromones from our sweat glands when they are in the mood for mal activity. These odorous chemicals work subliminally and are believed to affect the behavior of others without their even being aware.
For centuries, perfumers and apothecaries have used the essential oils of herbs, flowers and plants to create a similar sensual and erotic effect. These oils can be blended into potent recipes and, depending on the ingredients, produce a variety of remedial and sensual results. This is a modern form of aromatherapy. Smell affects not only the physical senses but the emotions too.
PROPERTIES FOR THE ESSENTIAL OILS
ROSEWOOD: Seductive, floral, woody fragrance. It steadies the nerves while being uplifting and calming. The sexy smell and calming combination help to ease sexual anxiety.
NEROLI: Haunting, bitter-sweet fragrance. It evokes feelings of peace, cases anxiety and is extremely sensual.
ROSE: Deep and luxurious, its floral perfume emits an exquisite and sensual aroma. It is often used to treat female reproductive disorders. Rose is said to help alleviate symptoms of sexual dysfunction (especially the inability to ejaculate during sex) in healthy men such as impotence and frigidity in women. It has a calming effect and opens the heart up to tender feelings.
YLANG YLANG: This sweet, heady floral fragrance can aid
relaxation and dissolve feelings of anger. It is said to alleviate sexual
LIME: This has a sweet, mouth-watering smell and adds a
light and playful energy to the blend.
SANDALWOOD: This is a sweet, woody and somewhat masculine fragrance which relaxes and eases stress and tension. It has long been reputed to have aphrodisiacal qualities.
MANDAWN: A fruity, tangy, citrus aroma which imparts a feeling of youthfulness and vitality that can add stamina to a night of love-making.
ADDING EROTICISM TO YOUR MASSAGE
By now you will know how to touch your lover in a therapeutic and sensuous manner - so it is time to use more than your hands to increase the eroticism of your massage! Intimate contact with your lover can be made not only by bringing your whole body into play, but by adding teasing and exciting stimulation with your lips, tongue and teeth.
Each person's erogenous response is unique and as you become familiar with your partner's body, you will find its secret pleasure places.
Below are some suggestions focused on areas which usually have a high erogenous response. Naturally, as you stroke, rub, kiss, nibble, lick and gently suck on the sensitive skin, you will increase your own sexual arousal as well.
Do not over-focus on one particular area but constantly diffuse the sexuality so that it streams through the whole body. By combining this intimate contact with soft, tender strokes that spread all over the skin, the sexual sensations will constantly rise and fall, washing your lover in waves of ecstasy.
The whole body will vibrate on a cellular level as you move from relaxation to excitation and back again. Try to avoid the temptation to rush headlong into heady excitement and penetrative sexual intercourse; regardless of which sex positions you may be enjoying, linger as long as you can in the exquisite joy of making love to your partner's body through massage and erotic touch.
While this page focuses on specific sexually sensitive zones, it is essential that you integrate those areas into a full body massage.
Begin by using strokes to release tension and enliven the body, combining them with the flowing sensual massage motions given in the previous chapter. The full body integration stroke shown here is another wonderful way to embrace the whole body. By the way, tantric or erotic massage is a delightful way to extend the length of time for which which you can last before ejaculation - it's one way to stop yourself coming too soon and thereby spoiling sex.
FULL BODY INTEGRATION STROKE
OVER THE BACK
Kneel beside your partner's feet, one foot on the mattress with the knee flexed in order to give you stability and leverage with this long movement which flows up and then back down the entire length of the body. At some point, you may need to change your position to reach the top of the shoulders or to sweep back down to the feet again.
1. Place your hands across the back of each ankle, so that your fingers face inwards. Stroke both hands simultaneously up the legs, over the buttocks and onto the back, allowing them to mould into the body shape.
2. Change your position if necessary. Support your own weight but lean forward so that your whole body makes close contact with your lover as your hands continue gliding up towards the shoulders. If possible, let your hair and breasts seductively brush against his skin to excite his senses.
3. Fan your hands out over his shoulders, and then slowly lever your own weight back onto your haunches as your hands pull down the sides of his body.
4. Change position again, and let your fingers trail feather-light down his legs. Repeat this whole back of the body sequence three times so that your partner feels the surges of warmth, closeness and pressure with the upward flowing movement, and the gentle subsidence of the downward strokes.
OVER THE FRONT
Ease the pressure as you pass over the knees. Form your hands to the body as they pass over the hips and sides of the waist. Swivel your hands inwards, with fingers pointing towards the head to glide together up the breastbone and fan out over the pectoral muscles towards and around the shoulders.
Softly stroke down the arms and hands, slipping back onto the legs to continue down to the feet. Turn your hands to wrap across the feet and repeat this lovely integration stroke. You can vary this stroke by returning your hands down along the sides of the body. By the end of these integration strokes, your partner will be wholly aware of her body from head to toes.
THE HANDS AND FINGERS
The fingertips, filled with thousands of sensory nerve endings, can be surprisingly responsive to erotic stimulation.
1. After relaxing your partner's arm with your sensual strokes and adapting the hand massage in Taking Hold of the Hands, her hand will feel alive and stimulated. Arouse your partner by placing each finger, one by one, into your mouth and massaging it with the wet warmth of your tongue and soft moist skin of your lips. Run your tongue languidly around the finger and then suck gently on its tip. Take your time as if you are savoring the very taste of it. Drive her wild!
2. Nibble her fingers and the outer side of her hand teasingly with your teeth. Now take her hand and run it gently over your own face for mutual erotic touching. Let her palm absorb the warmth of your face and her fingers brush across your lips.
3. Rest her hand over her belly so that her fingers settle lightly onto her pubic area. Blow gently onto her hand and then cover it with delicate kisses.
BREASTS AND CHEST
Breasts, and in particular nipples, are a highly erogenous zone in both men and women. The many sensitive nerve endings in the nipples and areola (the dark-pigmented skin encircling the nipples) radiate powerful sensations to the emotional and sexual centers of the brain when stimulated by touch, kissing, nuzzling, licking and sucking. This is particularly true for women, whose nipples visibly swell and become erect when sexually excited.
Women's breasts, which are composed of milk-secreting glands and fatty tissue, represent an essential part of their femininity and should be touched with a loving respect and awareness even in the most sexually arousing situations. No hard pressure should be applied while massaging the breasts. Before focusing on the breasts erotically, use sensual strokes over the whole of the chest area.
Be sure to massage the pectoral muscles above the breasts to ease away tension, allowing your partner's breath and feelings to expand, and enabling her to become more vulnerable and responsive to your touch.
Sensual strokes on the face, head and neck are a wonderful way to follow up the erotic chest and breast massage.
1. Use some pillows or cushions to support your own position as you sit or kneel behind your partner's head. Bring her arms up to lie beside you so that after you stroke up the sides of her ribcage you can slide your hands over her armpits and underarms. Spread oil over the ribcage and onto the arms.
2. Begin the massage with a gentle hold. Place your hands,
one softly on top of the other, over her heart area. Let your hands listen to
her heart bear, and feel the rise and fall of her breath. See if you can
synchronize your own breath into the same undulating rhythm.
3 i) Place both hands close together and flat on the top of her chest, with your fingers pointing down her body.
3 ii) Slide them down her breastbone, and then fan out over the base of her ribcage to the sides of her body.
3 iii) Continue by gliding up the sides of her ribcage, in over her armpits and on to the soft skin of her underarms towards her elbows.
3 iv) Swivel your wrists so your hands can stroke down her arms and onto the pectoral muscles above her breasts. Repeat the sequence.