Female Sexuality Facts
Sexual Problems and Dysfunction
[ External Sexual Anatomy Of Women ]
Comments on how penis size affects women
It will be recalled that Masters and Johnson discovered from their researches that what produces the woman's orgasm after the penis has been put into the vagina is the stimulation of the clitoral head by the clitoral hood as it is moved up and down it by the thrusting of the penis.
When the penis is thrust forward, it pulls on the labia which, in turn, pull the clitoral hood forward over the head.
When the penis is drawn back, it releases the pull on the labia, which in turn, releases the clitoral hood and allows it to slide back over the clitoris-head.
It is this movement of the clitoral hood backwards and forwards over the clitoris-head which eventually induces climax for the woman.
Yet, if this is so why is it that so many women consult me and other therapists about their inability to achieve orgasm, except by direct stimulation of the clitoris manually or orally; and never achieve it during penis-vagina contact?
There are, of course, a number of causes that are psychological in origin - feelings of guilt, of shame, of sin, fear of pregnancy - while one or two are physiological e.g. underdevelopment of the sexual sensory responses; but it was a client who, the other day, made me aware of another cause. She is a woman of 35, married for eleven years, with three children.
Her husband is a sales representative, who is from home for longish periods at a time. During his absences, she fulfills her sexual needs by various methods of self-stimulation, one of which involves the use of an artificial penis.
When using the artificial penis, she told me, she could bring herself to climax, after preliminary clitoral stimulation, merely by moving the instrument backwards and forwards in the vagina. Yet she never achieved climax during the penis-vagina contact with her husband.
As she explained this to me, she produced the artificial penis from her shopping-bag, and as she unwrapped it, I saw that she had chosen one of exceptional proportions. As she laid it on my desk, the possible reason for her experience occurred to me I asked her if she had acquired this large substitute because its measurements were similar to those of her husband's penis. 'It was the only one I could find that was approximately the same length,' she replied. 'But it is much thicker than George is.'
It was this last remark that might be the key to her situation. Without going into details, a number of tests proved me to be right. In addition, on going through my records, I was also struck by the number of women who have consulted me over the years because when they were first married - they had achieved orgasm with ease during penis-vagina contact, but only very rarely did so after the arrival of children.
The fact is that after the first birth the vagina never returns to its pre-birth tightness, and each subsequent birth leaves it slacker still, even though the mother may faithfully carry out post-natal exercises designed to tone up the vaginal muscles.
As I have pointed out, the average girth inches of the penis is 4.5 inches. This measurement appears to be sufficient to produce orgasm by penis-vagina contact in a significant number of childless women.
But after the birth of the first child it ceases to be effective; hence the lack of orgasm produced by penis-vagina contact alone. The deduction, then, is that the larger the girth of the penis, the more easily obtainable is the woman's orgasm during penis-vagina contact, without any other simultaneous clitoral stimulation.
In fact, the thicker the penis, the more vigorously it s over the clitoris-head during thrusting by moving the clitoral hood backwards. In this respect, therefore, penis-size does matter - not as to length (the former arguments are still valid there) - but as to girth. It is the thick penis, not the long penis, which should be the symbol of a man's virility.
Men are unable to enlarge their penis, but can use techniques which will compensate for lack of girth and length. There is often a psychological desire for penetration of some depth in both the man and the woman - the man desires to come as near as possible to piercing, symbolically, his partner's heart; the woman desires to be completely filled by her man.
Let us take girth first. The man can do nothing about this, but his partner can.
A young friend of mine, who has just returned from a trip somewhere east of Suez, once spoke to me in rhapsodies about the lovemaking techniques of the girls he had encountered there.
There's one thing they do in particular, Robert,' he said, which our girls can't do. They can contract and relax the muscles in the vagina so that it grips the penis. One girl I was with could do it so strongly that I couldn't move my penis in and out. The sensation was terrific! Why can't our girls do it?'
'They can,' I told him, 'but it takes a bit of practice. The girls where you've just been are taught lovemaking skills from puberty, even perhaps earlier, and this use of the muscles in the vagina entrance especially, is one of the skills to which most attention is paid.'
'Couldn't you do something about getting our women to go in for it?' he asked.
In the woman, the muscles involved are those which surrounded the vagina, and particularly those surrounding the vaginal entrance. There are two sets of these muscles.
The first is a double-horseshoe, which is connected to the interior of the pubic bone. One loop of this muscle encloses the vagina, and the other, and larger, loop encloses the rectum.
The second set forms a figure eight, one loop surrounding the vagina entrance and the other surrounding the anus. The muscles surrounding the rectum and anus - which the man also has - control the emptying action of the bowels.
They can be brought into play deliberately by a contraction of the stomach muscles accompanied by a kind of bearing down, or straining.
By this contraction, the rectal muscle forces the contents of the rectum down towards the anus, to which the anal muscle responds by relaxing, and thus enlarging the opening to allow the feces to exit. The muscle at the vagina entrance, which is especially important in our considerations, is a sphincter, like the anal muscle.
(A sphincter is a muscle surrounding and closing an opening or tube.) It is this muscle that keeps the vagina entrance - as the anal sphincter keeps the anus - closed, so that, for example, when a woman takes a bath, water does not enter the vagina or rectum.
Both openings only expand when persuaded to do so by a penetrating object. Now, the horseshoe-shaped band of muscle surrounding the vagina and the muscle in the vagina entrance are only normally contracted when a woman has an orgasm.
They go into action then, of their own accord, and nothing the woman can do can stop them. In a great many women, however, these contractions are so slight that she is scarcely aware of them herself, while the man feels nothing, and generally has to ask her if she has come.
In other women where the contractions can be felt by the woman, more often than not they can be felt by the man with sensations that seem as though the penis is being gripped. This is especially true of the vaginal entrance muscles.
Although, as I have said, the muscle surrounding the vagina and the vaginal sphincter are normally what is known as involuntary muscles, i.e., they cannot be prevented from acting under certain circumstances, they can by practice be converted into voluntary muscles, that is to say, they can be made to act at the will of the woman at any time she wishes them to do so.
She is able to make them obey her because they are connected with the rectal and anal muscles, which she can control by bearing down, or straining, as I have described.
If she can learn to control them, then not only can she strengthen them by daily exercises, but by strengthening them she will have three important things happen to her.
One, her orgasm sensations will be much more intense when she comes; two, she will have provided herself with a lovemaking technique which will make her partner her slave for life; especially of feeling gripping and relaxing by the vaginal sphincter, unmatched by any other sexual experience.
All that is needed to achieve this is the willingness to devote ten minutes or so practice a day to exercising the muscles concerned.
To begin with, the woman inserts in her vagina an object roughly the size of the partner's penis having first lubricated it well. By 'bearing down' she compels the rectal and anal muscles to contract, and by doing so automatically forces the vaginal muscles and vaginal sphincter to contract so as to have the effect of gripping the object in the vagina.
At the beginning, and probably for the first week, she will not feel the vaginal muscles and sphincter working at all; but if she perseveres she will in time become conscious of their movement.
Each time she carries out the exercise after that, the muscles will make a stronger response. When she feels the muscles to be gripping strongly she should replace it by a smaller object....by trying to make the vagina grip this smaller object she will make the muscles increasingly stronger, and it is possible for most women to grip a finger or a pencil quite strongly.
First, the woman in the initial period when she may not be able to feel the muscles working at all, may despair and give up.
Second, she may find it difficult to obtain an object approximating to the size of her partner's penis - and subsequent smaller objects.
Third, she has no means of gauging the strength of the muscle contractions except by how they seem to grip the object.
This is a psychological flaw in the method, because if she could be sure that her muscles were increasingly becoming stronger, her mind would react so that she made swifter progress, and so lessen the chances of her giving up.
All these drawbacks have been removed by a device that has now come on the market called a Kegelmaster.
Since the average vagina is 4 inches long when the woman is not aroused, these measurements have the effect of expanding the vagina, and at the same time provide a thickness which opens the vagina entrance considerably.
The probe is attached by a tube to a gauge. When the vagina muscles are contracted a needle swings across the graduated face of the gauge and registers the strength of the contractions. Even when the woman cannot feel the contractions the machine registers. Thus, from the very beginning, the woman is given great psychological encouragement.
I have carried out tests with a Kegelmaster and can personally recommend its use by any woman. Those who can already contract the vaginal muscles will be able to keep them in excellent tone.
There is no doubt that a healthy vagina may well enable a woman to keep vaginal infections such as vaginosis at bay, and to ensure her immune system is able to fight off infections such as Candida albicans. This will mean she is not required to fall back on any kind of home remedy such as "Yeast Infection No More" to deal with Candidiasis.
Let me repeat, once the woman has learned to contract the muscles so that she can grip two, or better, one finger, she has not only added a marvelously stimulating technique to her repertoire, but has gone almost all the way to compensating for the imagined physical inadequacy of her partner.
One of the cardinal rules for all men who imagine they have penile inadequacy should be that they never allow themselves to develop a 'pot belly'. Another great source of information for dealing with infections is https://www.endstomachpainnow.com where you can find a lot of information not available elsewhere, especially about male infection on the penis.
A protuberant belly, even on a well-equipped man, has a horrible habit of getting in the way during lovemaking, and it can make quite a difference to depth of penetration.
The other ways in which lack of penile inches can be compensated for, is by the position used in intercourse. It is quite surprising how different penetration can be from sex position to position, and indeed in the same position according to the posture taken by the woman. For example, in the missionary position, man-above, if the woman keeps her legs flat on the bed, not more than two-thirds of any length penis can go in.
But if she draws up her knees, until the soles of her feet are flat on the bed, penetration can be increased by an inch to an inch and a half, while the more she draws her knees up towards her breasts the deeper penetration will be. if the woman lies over the edge of the bed with the soles of her feet flat on the floor, penetration will be even deeper than in the ordinary man-on top sex position.
She must, however, remember to keep her feet firmly on the ground, otherwise depth of penetration will be shortened. With the woman lying on the man, penetration is shallow. If, however, she kneels or squats astride him, either facing him or with her back to him, and, after the penis has been put into the vagina, sits firmly down on his thighs, penetration will be maximum provided the woman holds her torso absolutely erect.
If she leans either forward or back even a few degrees out of the absolute straight, penetration is lessened. In this position, the average 6-inch penis can stretch the vagina in such a way that the woman almost faints with the exquisiteness of the sensations.
The 4- and 5-inch penis can also produce stretching sensations while the 4-inch penis seems completely to fill the vagina.
Other positions which also provide maximum depth of penetration, but which do not produce the stretching sensations of the last position, are the rear-entry sexual positions, especially the one in which the woman kneels with her weight supported by her taut arms. The man kneels behind her, between her parted legs. If the woman's buttocks are not abnormally large, the whole of the penis will go in.
A variation on this, is when the woman takes up the same position on a low bed with her feet over the edge of the bed. The man's legs straddle her feet, she opens her legs to allow the penis to be inserted and then closes them and squeezes them together.
Penetration is very deep, and by squeezing her legs, she grips the penis and this gives her and her partner a sensation of fullness. If the man sits on a chair and the woman sits on him with her back to him, very deep penetration is achieved. This will be increased further still if the man opens his thighs and the woman presses her body closer, thereby pushing the penis even further in.
If the woman lies on a table which is at the man's hip-level and he stands between her legs, penetration is deep. It can be increased if she raises her knees until she can cross her feet in the small of his back.
The maximum penetration possible, though again not with quite the stretching sensations of the woman above squatting or kneeling, is achieved if the woman draws her knees up to her breasts, he bends over her and she rests her calves or feet on his shoulders.
Complete penetration is also possible if the man sits on a chair well forward and the woman sits on him sideways, i.e. she has a shoulder towards him, instead of her back or face. While keeping one foot on the floor she raises the leg nearest him.
These are a few of the positions which provide really deep or full penetration, even for the below- average-length penis. There are others which the couple should discover for themselves by experimenting. If, while they are being used, the woman brings her vaginal muscle control into play, and the man stimulates the woman's available sensitive zones, their experience and satisfaction will be no less than those of any other couple.
The Bent, Curved or Arched Penis
Some men are born with a penis which, when erect, instead of being straight is arched, so that the tip bows over away from the straight line drawn through the shaft to the base.
In others, the penis curves either to the right or the left. This bending, arching or curving is sometimes due to malformations in the tissue of which the penis is composed, and sometimes to the ligaments, which lift the penis up when it is erect, being shorter on one side than on the other. Malformations of the tissue cannot be treated, but surgery is sometimes successful in lengthening shorter ligaments.
Naturally, a man with a curved or arched penis worries that it may prevent him from ever having penis-vagina contact. In the rare cases where the curving or arching is very pronounced this does happen, because it is not possible to put the penis in the vagina without causing the partner unbearable pain. In most cases, the arching or curving is not a bar to full intercourse.
In fact, it should be regarded as a bonus, because the bending causes the penis-head to stimulate the vagina-barrel more than the head of the straight penis, by exerting more pressure against that part of the vaginal barrel with which it comes into contact. Curving or arching of the penis cannot be caused by any masturbation technique that a man can use.
This is a bending or arching of the penis due to the formation of some inelastic tissue in the corpora cavernosa sections of the penis. This very rarely happens in a man below the age of thirty. It can make the erection so painful that intercourse is impossible.
In many cases it can be cured, but as a rule it disappears after a time of its own accord, though no one knows why.
This is a condition of the penis in which the foreskin is long and the opening is so small that it will not allow the foreskin to be drawn back over the penis-head. Though the man's sexual performance may not be impaired by it, it is a condition that should not be allowed to persist, because it does not permit the lining of the foreskin, the penis-head and below the rim of the penis to be washed free of all the smegma which collect under the foreskin. The consequences of this inability to carry out genital hygiene can be serious.
Circumcision is the remedy. No man with a tight foreskin, which gives him pain if he tries to pull it back, should attempt to pull it back on his own, especially if the penis is erect. It can easily happen, that the foreskin having been pulled back behind the rim is so tight that it cannot be pulled forward again.
Medical attention must be sought immediately to avoid strangulation of the penis, which, if not remedied in time, can cause gangrene to set in. This condition is known as paraphimosis.
Epispadias and Hypospadias are explained here.
these are malformations of the penis with which some boys are born. In epispadias the upper side of the urethra remains open, in hypospadias the under side remains open, so that instead of being a closed tube, the urethra is more like a trough. Sometimes the defect may run the whole length of the penis, sometimes it is a slit, sometimes a large hole on the underside of the penis.