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Greater Sexual Pleasure!

Psychology and Squirting

You may not realize how much influence your mind and psychology exerts over your sex life - especially for those who cannot reach orgasm or female ejaculate.

In fact even the smallest thing can create difficulties which we may not even be aware of, but which mean we can't orgasm even with adequate stimulation.

For men who want to help a woman reach orgasm, or perhaps to female ejaculate, this can seem like a complete mystery.

And men, who probably like variety and novelty in their sex lives more than women (that's a big assumption!) may be the ones who want to know how to make a woman squirt.

So there can be a big difference between the sexes in terms of interest in sex and desire to explore the sexual issues around squirting orgasms and female ejaculation (aka gushing or squirting).

Video on squirting by Laci Green

Anorgasmia in women is probably the condition which is most affected by relationship issues and other psychological blocks.

These fall difficulties into two groups: being unable to orgasm because of difficulties in the relationship, and being unable to orgasm when there are no relationship issues.

Consider Helen, who had been very happily married, so she said, to her husband, Tom, for three years. For the duration of their marriage, she had been unable to orgasm during sex. Clearly Tom's wish to explore squirting orgasms was not going to be fulfilled as things stood....


She was twenty-nine when they got married and she had changed her life completely after they settled down together -- in fact, she had given up her career when they married.

They had enjoyed sex about twenty times before they married, and they had never failed to enjoy sex and both reached orgasm easily.

'When I think about it,' she said, 'sex was good fun for a few months, but gradually I realized my sexual desire was getting less and less, and eventually I was unable to orgasm.

After a year, no matter what Tom did during foreplay, even if it lasted an hour or more, I never got sexually aroused, and when we actually fucked, or tried oral sex, or mutual masturbation, there was never the prospect of an orgasm. In all other ways, we were happy, though. I've come to believe I can't orgasm, let alone squirt. Tom is beginning to lose interest, and I think he's having sex with someone else, and because I still care about him - in fact, I love him - I've come to you.'

'Why so long before you came?' I asked her. She replied: 'After I found I was unable to orgasm at all, we did go to see our doctor. I suggested this, though it was no help at all, because Tom was blaming himself, saying he was a sexual failure, and wanted to enliven his sex life by helping his woman enjoy squirting orgasms.'

'After that he became so frustrated he could not make me orgasm that he was really irritable. We nearly always finished sex with a row. The doctor told us this happened to a lot of couples, and our troubles would work out with time. Then I got pregnant, we had a baby, Mark, and everything still isn't right. I can't orgasm, and in the relationship, things are getting worse.' But by now her problem was obvious. Troubles with reaching orgasm were the product of domestic arrangements.

"How are you managing with the baby?" I asked. She looked at me and said rather aggressively, 'Pretty well. Why do you ask?'

I replied: 'I wondered whether a baby might be too much for you, restricting your life in so many ways and not having your career?' 

She looked thoughtful: 'He does make extra work, naturally, and I've always found housework rather dull.'

Now I was sure I was going down the right lines. Helen's trouble in being unable to enjoy squirting orgasms during sex with Tom, I believed, had its origins in the fact that she had chosen, perhaps not entirely willingly, to give up her job when they got married. When I suggested she missed her work and would be pleased to go back to it, she agreed immediately.

When I suggested she couldn't orgasm because of her resentment towards Tom and the baby, not least because she saw them as responsible for her giving up her job, she was initially doubtful, but gradually came to agree with me.

Sex was not fulfilling, she didn't give herself completely to Tom, kept her emotional distance, and did not give him the satisfaction of reaching orgasm - and deprived him of the fun with further exploration of her sexuality which may have led to them enjoying gushing together. Though not a conscious strategy, this certainly reflected her lack of connection to him, both sexually and emotionally.

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